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    Eternal Solitude m4w I always thought that I had no problem with being alone.
    Ten years later I still say, " I can handle it".
    Being alone and being lonely are two different animals.
    It is obvious to my friends.
    It seems I have become one of those "desperate nice guys" that never get the girl.
    Is it becuase I have lost my testosterone grown stones? No.
    Is it becuase I am bitter and trust nobody with my heart any longer? Probably.

    They say time heals all wounds.
    I say bullshit!
    I have been trying to heal for years.
    And I cannot seem to get over you of all the people in and out of my life.
    YOU are the one I cannot let go of.

    Looking way back. I had bad feelings that our time together was coming to an end. I tried to stop it.
    And I swore I would never do some of the things I did, before, during and after our love affair was over.
    I am still so sorry. It was my fault how we ended. I tried to stop it.
    I just had bad timing. I did not open my eyes before it was too late. And I still tried to stop it.
    I know that I will never find or even look to love anyone as much as I loved you Jeanette Marie Keaton.
    I do not blame you for not waiting for me to "show you" like a real man should.


    Anywhoos, For what it's worth.
    I still miss you dearly. I think of you at least once a day. Even after all of these years.
    Sadly, I cannot open myself up to heartache like that ever again.
    So, I will remain here, alone, where I am safe.
    Wallowing in eternal solitude.

    Patrick

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